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Let me start by saying this: it’s okay not to be okay.
It took me a long time to truly believe that. I spent years white-knuckling my way through anxiety, trying to “fix” myself quietly — mostly through running, overworking, and a generous dose of suppression. (Spoiler alert: not a winning combo.)
My mental health journey didn’t start with a dramatic event. It started with what many would call normal anxiety — nerves before a presentation, racing thoughts before big decisions, the usual pre-public speaking panic where your heart’s doing jumping jacks while you smile like everything’s fine.
But then the pandemic hit.
Like many, I found myself isolated and overwhelmed. Add in a strained relationship with a loved one, and things went from anxious to unmanageable. My anxiety stopped whispering and started screaming. Chest tightness. Shallow breaths. GI issues that just wouldn’t quit. I wasn’t just in my head anymore — my body was waving the white flag.
Of course, I tried to outrun it (literally). “Maybe if I just hit a new PR, this panic will go away.” Narrator voice: It did not.
Eventually, my wife and mom gently — but firmly — stepped in. They saw what I couldn’t (or wouldn’t): that what I was doing wasn’t working. That I needed help.
The Turning Point
So, I listened. Reluctantly at first. I started with my primary care doctor and got on medication for anxiety. It wasn’t magic, and it took a few months to get the dosage right, but eventually it began to help. Around the same time, I began therapy — virtually, because 2020.
Let me be real: therapy was not always fun. There were hard questions. Uncomfortable truths. Moments where I didn’t have a clean answer. But slowly, with the help of the right therapist (and a few trial-and-error apps), I started learning how to confront what I was really feeling — instead of outrunning it.
I started journaling. Reflecting. Running, too — but this time not to escape, just to breathe.
And I healed. Not all at once, not perfectly, but gradually.
What I’ve Learned
If you’re waiting for the part where I say “and now I’m cured!” — sorry, that’s not how this story goes.
What I’ve learned is that mental health is not a one-time fix. It’s a lifelong journey. There are good days and tough ones. There’s medication (yes, still on it), therapy tools, self-awareness, and the decision to keep showing up — even when your brain tells you to hide.
But I’m in a good place. And that’s not nothing.
Why I Started This Blog
I started The Mental Lens because I want to break down the stigma that still surrounds mental health. I want people to know that you are not weak for needing help. In fact, admitting you need help? That’s one of the strongest things you can do.
It’s why I joined the mental health advocacy program at work. It’s why I talk openly now, when for years I stayed silent. It’s why this blog exists — to create a space where we can be honest, human, and a little messy without shame.
Because none of us have it all figured out. And that’s okay.
Final Thought
If you’re struggling, or unsure, or just tired of pretending everything’s fine — know this:
It’s okay not to be okay.
And you’re not alone.
Learn more about me and the mission of The Mental Lens LLC
Interested in more personal stories? Check out my recommended book, Anxiously Ever After by Clint Edwards
Some links are affiliate-based — that means I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend what aligns with the mission of The Mental Lens.
