Revamp Your Goal-Setting: Sustainable Strategies Beyond New Year Resolutions

As the calendar flips toward a new year, the same conversation shows up everywhere. New year. New you. New rules you swear you will follow this time.

And yet most of us already know how this story ends.

Research regularly shows that a majority of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned within the first few weeks of January. Some studies estimate that fewer than 10 percent actually stick long term. That doesn’t mean people are lazy or lack discipline. It means the way we approach change is often flawed from the start.

Resolutions tend to be performative. They sound good when we say them out loud. They look good written down. But they are often disconnected from how life actually works once the initial motivation fades.

Goals are different.

Why goals work when resolutions don’t

Resolutions usually focus on an outcome. Lose weight. Be less anxious. Write more. Save money.

Goals acknowledge something else entirely. Change is a process, not a declaration.

A real goal is not just where you want to end up. It is how you plan to move through the days when motivation is low, stress is high, and life inevitably interferes. It includes systems, habits, and the ability to adjust without quitting.

That’s why goals tend to last longer than resolutions. They are built for reality, not just intention.

But here’s where things often get confusing.

Most of us know goals should be more than vague wishes, yet when we try to make them concrete, we swing too far in the other direction. We turn them into rigid formulas. Perfect timelines. Detailed plans that look good on paper but fall apart the moment life gets messy.

This is where many people lose momentum. Not because they don’t care, but because the structure meant to support the goal starts to feel like pressure.

That is why goal setting does not need a January 1 start date. You can set a goal in March, August, or on a random Tuesday when something finally clicks. Progress does not care what month it is.

A quick word on SMART goals

You may have heard of SMART goals and they exist for a reason. SMART is a framework for creating effective objectives, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable (or Attainable), Relevant, and Time-bound. They bring clarity, direction, and accountability, especially in professional settings where alignment matters. But they can also feel rigid or overwhelming when applied to personal growth or mental health.

Life is not always measurable. Mental health is not always predictable. Creative work rarely moves in straight lines. When goals become overly rigid, they stop being supportive and start becoming another source of stress.

That’s why I prefer a more flexible approach. One that keeps the spirit of clarity without demanding perfection. One that leaves room for adjustment when circumstances change.

A simpler reframe that I find more sustainable is this:

• What matters to me right now?
• What is one action I can repeat consistently?
• How will I adjust when life gets in the way?

That approach keeps the goal human. It allows for flexibility without abandoning direction.

The goals I’m carrying into this year

Sharing goals publicly is uncomfortable. It creates accountability. It also exposes uncertainty. But that discomfort is often a sign the goal actually matters.

Here are a few of mine.

Mental health and anxiety
This is grounding work for me. Ongoing, not flashy. Continuing meditation. Journaling more consistently. Paying attention to when anxiety is rising instead of powering through it. I know this work helps because I’ve done it before. The goal is not perfection. It’s awareness, progress, and maintenance.

Fitness and movement
I have a half marathon in March and an Olympic triathlon in April. I’ve learned that putting races on the calendar keeps me honest. These are grounding goals too. I’m not chasing something new. I’m reinforcing something that supports my mental health as much as my physical health.

Creative work and learning
I’m working on building an app. I’ve never built one before. That makes it a stretch goal by definition. It will be hard. There will be gaps in my knowledge. But it’s also a chance to learn deeply and create something I believe will be genuinely useful.

I’m also writing a second book in the Still Human series. Writing the first one taught me that I can do hard creative things, even when doubt shows up. This next one is ambitious, but no longer impossible.

Local advocacy and community
I want to start laying the groundwork for local advocacy through The Mental Lens. That includes ideas like a neighborhood free library and creating more access points for mental health conversations offline, not just online. This goal is still forming, and that’s okay. Some goals start as direction before they become plans.

Where I’ve failed before

I’ve had goals that quietly disappeared year after year.

I tell myself I’ll work on my cookbook weekly. I start strong. Then life takes over. Five years later, it’s still unfinished. Cooking is personal. Sharing family recipes feels vulnerable. What if people don’t like them? That fear slows me down more than lack of time ever did.

Every year I say I’ll pick up my guitar again. I don’t. There is always something more urgent. Or at least something I tell myself is more urgent.

These failures taught me something important. Goals fail most often when they are rooted in pressure or fear rather than clarity. Naming that has helped me reset how I approach them.

Redefining success along the way

One of the biggest reasons people abandon goals is not lack of effort. It’s rigid definitions of success.

We often decide in advance what success must look like. A specific number. A timeline. A finish line that leaves no room for reality. When life inevitably disrupts that plan, the goal suddenly feels “failed,” even if real progress was made along the way.

This all-or-nothing framing is especially damaging for mental health. It turns setbacks into proof that we are behind, broken, or incapable of follow-through. Instead of adjusting, many people quit entirely.

Redefining success does not mean lowering standards or making excuses. It means acknowledging that growth is nonlinear and that adaptability is a skill, not a weakness.

A healthier definition of success asks different questions:

• Did I stay engaged, even when the plan changed?
• Did I learn something that will make the next attempt more sustainable?
• Did I choose persistence over perfection?

When success is defined by consistency, effort, and adjustment, goals stop feeling fragile. They can bend without breaking.

I learned this lesson the hard way through endurance training.

I went into my 70.3 Ironman with a time goal. I trained for it. I visualized it. Then injury took that goal off the table before race day even arrived. The original plan was no longer realistic.

For a moment, it felt like failure before I even started the race.

But something shifted when I reframed the goal. Finishing became the win. Showing up, adapting to my body, and getting through the race safely mattered more than the clock. And in the end, I did finish. It was my first Ironman.

That experience reshaped how I think about goals entirely. Success is not always hitting the original target. Sometimes it is refusing to quit when the definition of winning changes.

That mindset has carried into every other area of my life. Writing. Fitness. Mental health. Even the goals I’m unsure I’ll reach this year.

Redefining success keeps you moving forward when perfection would have stopped you cold.

A better way to approach your goals

If goals have felt frustrating or short-lived in the past, the problem is rarely motivation. It’s usually the way the goal is framed.

Most people aim too big, too fast, with no plan for what happens when life interrupts. A more sustainable approach starts with grounding the goal in reality instead of optimism.

Start by choosing a goal that connects to how you want to feel, not just what you want to achieve. Less anxious. More clear-headed. Stronger. More present. Outcomes matter, but feelings are often what keep us committed when progress is slow.

Next, anchor the goal to a small, repeatable action. Not the ideal version. The version you can do on an average week. This is where many goals break down. If the action requires perfect conditions, it won’t survive real life. Consistency beats intensity every time.

Then, decide in advance how you will adapt. This step is almost never discussed, and it’s where most goals fail. Ask yourself what you will do when motivation dips, when schedules change, or when setbacks happen. Adjustment is not a sign you’re failing. It’s part of the process.

This approach shifts goals from rigid targets to living systems. Something you interact with, refine, and carry forward instead of something you either “win” or abandon.

If you’re feeling stuck or behind, start here:

• What actually matters to me right now, not what I think should matter?
• What is one small action I can repeat consistently, even imperfectly?
• How will I redefine success if the original plan no longer fits?

You don’t need a perfect plan. You need one you can sustain.

You can start late. You can start small. You can change the definition of success without giving up. Progress does not require a calendar reset. It requires clarity and compassion, applied consistently.

Goals are not about proving anything to anyone. They are about building a life that feels sustainable, meaningful, and honest.

And you do not need a new year to begin.

I’ve turned this approach into something I call The Mental Lens Goal Setting Framework — a simple structure designed to help goals survive real life, not ideal conditions. Subscribe to The Mental Lens Newsletter to get your free copy.