What endurance training taught me about strength, self-awareness, and recovery.
Mile 48, Meet Reality
Mile 48 on the bike. The sun was in full glare mode, my quads were staging a rebellion, and the banana I’d just inhaled was leading me to regret my life choices. I was deep into training for my first 70.3 Ironman and in that figurative sweet spot between “ambitious” and “questionable life decision.”
My watch buzzed as I rolled through the next mile, and I told myself what every endurance athlete learns to say: keep pushing. Pain is temporary. Pain is weakness leaving the body. My inner sports movie soundtrack was swelling — until it wasn’t.
Unfortunately what most people won’t tell you about grit: it doesn’t care if you’re grinding yourself into the ground.
When “Strong” Becomes a Mask
For years, I thought mental toughness meant bulldozing through pain, exhaustion, and doubt —the holy trinity of athletic suffering. I’d run a dozen half-marathons, logged countless early mornings, and worn soreness like a badge of honor.
But at some point, that same mindset started breaking me down. I wasn’t just tired. I was detached. Training sessions felt obligatory. Races didn’t feel rewarding. I was chasing an idea of strength that wasn’t actually making me stronger.
And eventually I realized something uncomfortable:
There is no real mental toughness without mental health.
That realization forced me to redefine what “tough” actually means, not just in training, but in life.
The Old Definition: Grit at All Costs
In sports, mental toughness is often glorified as pushing through anything: fatigue, pain, discomfort, emotion. It’s the image of the lone athlete grinding through rain, refusing to quit.
And sure, to a degree, that’s part of the game. Growth requires discomfort. But too often, the line between challenge and self-destruction disappears.
Endurance athletes (and, honestly, professionals in any high-performing field) can be experts at crossing that line:
- Skipping rest days.
- Ignoring pain.
- Equating worth with output.
- Treating sleep like a luxury and emotion like a weakness.
We suppress, suppress, suppress — until our bodies start yelling what our minds refused to acknowledge.
In my case, it was a recurring back issue I brushed off during Ironman training. Later, knee pain that turned into pes anserine bursitis. Every signal my body sent, I countered with a motivational quote, which unfortunately, are not anti-inflammatories.
The Psychology of Overdoing It
So why do we do this?
Part of it is biology. The “grit high” is real. Studies from the American Psychological Association show that perseverance triggers dopamine (the feel-good chemical that rewards us for effort), reinforcing that heroic feeling of endurance. We literally get rewarded for overextending ourselves.
Add in social media highlight reels, endurance culture’s “no excuses” mantras, and the self-comparison trap, and you’ve got a cocktail of constant pressure.
But long-term stress without recovery does the opposite of what we think: it spikes cortisol, lowers immune response, and dulls emotional regulation. Harvard Health notes that chronic overtraining mimics the same hormonal imbalances seen in anxiety and depression. You can be “fit” and mentally fried.
Redefining Toughness
Over time, I learned that mental toughness isn’t about silencing pain, it’s more about interpreting it.
Real resilience is nuanced. It’s the ability to discern the difference between discomfort that leads to growth and pain that leads to injury. It’s knowing when your brain’s resistance is fear, and when it’s a signal to rest.
It’s also about honesty. Saying things like:
- “I need rest.”
- “I’m not okay.”
- “I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
That’s not weakness. That’s maturity.
Psychologist Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion shows that people who treat themselves with kindness during setbacks actually demonstrate greater motivation and perseverance over time. Compassion isn’t the opposite of toughness; it’s the foundation for sustainable toughness.
Rewiring the Athlete Mindset
Learning to balance toughness with health requires unlearning decades of cultural conditioning. Especially if you grew up hearing that rest is laziness, or that pain equals progress.
Here are three shifts that helped me rewire that mindset:
1. Redefine Rest as a Skill
Recovery isn’t passive, it’s a deliberate process of rebuilding. Think of it as part of your training block, not a break from it. Schedule it. Honor it.
Elite athletes like Simone Biles and Eliud Kipchoge openly speak about rest as mental training. When the best in the world view recovery as essential, it’s probably time we stop calling it “slacking off.”
For me, that meant actually taking full days off, without guilt, and realizing the world didn’t end when I did.
2. Trade “Push Through” for “Check In”
When something feels off, pause. Ask: Am I tired or just unmotivated? Is this soreness or actual pain? Do I need discipline or downtime?
This for me was about self-awareness and something I had to recognize about myself and where I was at physically and mentally.
The same principle applies beyond sports: to work, parenting, creativity. You can’t output clarity if you’re inputting chaos.
3. Reframe Comparison as Inspiration
Comparison is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be corrosive. Instead of thinking they’re stronger, try they’re showing me what’s possible.
The trick is remembering that every endurance journey is built on invisible recovery days. Nobody posts their rest day nap on Strava.
The Science of Recovery (and Why It’s Mental, Too)
Research from the Journal of Sports Sciences suggests that effective recovery isn’t just physical, it’s psychological. Athletes who engage in mindfulness, gratitude, and positive self-talk recover faster and maintain performance under pressure.
That’s because your nervous system doesn’t differentiate much between physical and mental stress. Both tax your body’s ability to return to baseline. Meditation, journaling, and even laughter activates the parasympathetic “rest and digest” response — the same one your muscles need to rebuild.
My own version of mindfulness became listening runs: leaving the music off, focusing on breath, footsteps, and scenery. It turned training into something closer to meditation than punishment.
What Actually Helped Me
Once I started giving my mental health the same attention as my mileage, things changed.
1. Listening to My Body
I began to see soreness, fatigue, and irritation as data, not enemies. Warmups became non-negotiable. Recovery tools like a theragun, scraping, and a foam roller replaced the “grind harder” mantra. And weirdly, the less I punished my body, the stronger it got.
2. Practicing Mindfulness
I rediscovered the Nike Run Club app, where Nike Global Head Coach Chris Bennett reframed running as a conversation with yourself, not a competition. One of his lines hit home:
“Struggling doesn’t mean failure. Struggling means successfully not giving up.”
That simple idea reframed everything. Struggle is not the enemy. It is crucial feedback, if we’re willing to listen.
3. Letting Go of Ego
This might be the hardest one. The “grind harder than everyone else” mentality feels intoxicating because it feeds identity. But ego-driven effort burns fast. Intention-driven effort lasts.
When I trained out of curiosity and care — not comparison — my joy came back.
Beyond Endurance Sports
You don’t need a race bib to relate to this. Most of us are running our own endurance races — at work, at home, in creative pursuits. The same mental traps apply, including pushing past exhaustion, calling burnout “drive,” and confusing resilience with resistance.
The performance mindset is valuable: it builds grit, self-belief, and perseverance. But without mental health, it morphs into a perfectionist treadmill you can’t step off.
Sometimes the bravest move isn’t accelerating, it’s slowing down. Saying “not today” so you can still show up tomorrow.
When to Push and When to Pause
If you’re unsure whether you’re building resilience or burning out, here’s a quick gut-check:
| Signal | Resilience | Overexertion |
| Energy | Challenged but recharged | Chronically drained, foggy |
| Mood | Grounded, adaptable | Irritable, detached |
| Sleep | Restful, consistent | Disrupted, restless |
| Motivation | Purpose-driven | Guilt-driven |
| Performance | Improves steadily | Plateaus or drops |
If the right column looks too familiar, it’s not failure, it’s feedback.
The Culture of “More”
Part of why balance feels so radical is because modern life rewards more. More hustle. More output. More content.
But as author Greg McKeown puts it in Essentialism, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”
That includes your mental energy. If you don’t budget it intentionally, the world will happily spend it for you.
The same is true in training. Every “yes” to one more workout, one more project, or one more commitment, is a “no” to recovery, presence, and long-term growth.
Balance isn’t passive; it’s an active act of clarity.
The Real Race
I still love endurance sports. I still chase finish lines. But I’ve learned that the hardest race isn’t the one on the course, it’s the one between your ears.
It’s choosing to stop when stopping feels like quitting. It’s trusting that rest is progress you can’t always measure. It’s remembering that toughness isn’t about how much you can take, but how wisely you can recover.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to outpace everyone else, it’s to stay in the race long enough to enjoy the view.
And as Coach Bennet might say,
“This is about running…and this is not about running.”
Clarity Takeaway
Pause and ask yourself:
Am I training for strength or running from stillness?
True mental toughness isn’t about never breaking.
It’s about building a life, and a mindset, flexible enough to bend without shattering.
You are not weak for resting.
You are not lazy for listening.
You are not broken for needing support.
You’re human and that’s the strongest thing you can be.
If you’re looking to bring more mindfulness and recovery into your own routine, explore my recommended Mindfulness & Meditation Clarity Tools — a curated list to help you slow down, reset, and recharge your mind as intentionally as you train your body.
